As a company, we feel that we have a moral obligation to talk about domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is, unfortunately, a factor in many separation and divorce cases and we understand that spreading awareness about the many forms domestic abuse takes, as well as what to do when you are in a dangerous situation, is something that we can help with. That's why, together with ret. Judge David Kennedy, we are creating an eBook that includes how to recognize and safely get help with a domestic abusive situation. The eBook includes a list of 18 questions to ask yourself about your relationship and checklist of what to do to safely remove yourself from a dangerous or unhealthy situation. Even if domestic abuse is not an issue in your relationship, the likelihood that you know someone experiencing domestic abuse is painfully high.
The eBook will be available soon. In the meantime, here are 18 questions you should be asking yourself if you think you may be experiencing abuse in your relationship:
Hello, my name is Laura Young and I am Co-founder of X2X, Inc. We are working really hard to produce a product for separating and divorced families that will bring all the chaos to a more than manageable level. While all that is in production, we will continue to discuss important topics on the blog. ON THAT NOTE if there is a specific topic that you would like to see addressed, please get in touch via the comments section, or in the Contact tab.
Perhaps this trend can be credited to gender roles becoming more balanced. More women are working outside of the home than they were in the 70s and 80s, more men are able to balance work-life and are more involved in the raising of their children. Is there more partnership and equality happening in marriages now than there was with the “breadwinner/homemaker” model of generations gone by?
Some of this decline in the divorce rate has been attributed to couples delaying marriage until they are a little older, and ostensibly more mature. For example, in 2004, the average age of marriage in the U.S. was 26 for women and 27 for men. In 2013, according to the U.S. Census Bureau numbers, the median age for women was 27, and for men was 29. The 2011 Canadian census listed average ages as 28 for women and 31 for men. Perhaps one could surmise that marrying later in life means relationships will last, that families will hold together, and that the divorce rate will continue to decline. Well, maybe not.
Introducing Robin Young, COO:
As COO at X2X, my primary role besides logistics is problem solving. That includes making sure the people who visit our web sites and use our products and tools have an excellent experience. So if you have an idea that would be helpful or find things that don’t work well for you, I’d like to hear about it. We are committed to providing you with information, tools and resources that make a difference. I find talking about myself pretty boring so if you need to know more here’s the link to my LinkedIn page: here.
When I decided to leave my marriage I had given it a lot of thought. There were difficulties but basically I felt we were just not going in the same direction. We definitely had different views on money management. I was more conservative and he was more of a fly by the seat of your pants kind of guy. That all changed when I decided to leave. At that point he became very interested in our finances and surprised me with how careless he could actually be.
Where I live, at pretty high northern latitude, and close to the most easterly point in the continental United States, the days have gotten very short, and the snow is falling. As we approach the New Year, it’s a good time to reflect for a few minutes; review the highs and lows of 2015, and begin to plan for what is likely to occur in 2016.
None of us have a crystal ball, and life definitely tends to interfere with the best of plans (as poet Robert Burns once said, “The best-laid schemes o’ mice and men Gang aft agley, and leave us naught but grief and pain…”). Nonetheless, as the immortal Yogi Berra once put it, “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.”
My name is David Kennedy, and this is my first blog post as the Senior Policy Adviser at X2X, Inc.. I want to use this opportunity to introduce myself and explain why I’ve chosen to be involved in developing what I think is an exciting set of tools for our users.
I was privileged to serve as a Family Law Magistrate and District Court Judge with the Family Division of Maine’s District Court for 15 years, until I retired in 2013. After taking a few months off after my retirement to do a long-planned lap around the United States.
I then joined the Maine law firm of Eaton Peabody as Senior Counsel, where my practice is limited to mediation and arbitration. I mediate and arbitrate all kinds of cases, including many family matters. As both a magistrate and judge, and I heard thousands of family law cases and often saw the best people at their worst and the worst people at their best as they tried to present their family cases, with or without lawyers.
After I had been on the bench for a few years, I was talking with my friend and colleague Andrew Horton about the patterns and mistakes we saw over and over. We decided to write a book designed to help people avoid those common mistakes we saw, and to urge them to resolve their cases in a positive and civil manner. That book, Do Your Divorce Right, Straight Talk from Family Court Cases, was published in 2011 (http://www.towerpub.com). Since the publication of our book, Justice Horton and I have appeared on radio and television, and spoken at many public events.
While our book goes into a lot of detail, I have summarized it in three phrases:
Take the High Road
Take the Long View
Earlier this year the founders of X2X approached me and asked if I would consider joining their team. After talking with them about their ideas of using the Internet to educate people about the dangers and opportunities that come with every family law matter, I decided that joining X2X would be another way I could help people avoid unnecessary trauma while in processes of separation and divorce.
I am now working with the X2X team to generate what we think is useful content for our users and we look forward to providing additional useful tools for you and your family. As I worked with this talented team I’ve become more convined that we’ll be helping both parents and children avoid unnecessary fall out from “messy divorces” and “nasty separations”.
We hope you will find our initial e-books helpful, and please stay tuned as we will be rolling out additional information and tools for you to use!
Welcome to the X2X blog. As CEO, I get to write the inaugural post (below) and set the tone for what we expect will be both interesting and informative. The Family Community blog will include elements of education along with case studies and more. Writing on the topic of separation will be challenging. As someone who has gone through it with 4 kids, I know some days are better than others. I hope you will take the time to read our posts, comment, and above all else let us know what you want to hear.
I am a divorced father of 4 trying to create something positive out of what was the largest failure of my life. It should be no surprise that separation and divorce are the second and third most stressful events behind the loss of a spouse; a fact not lost on anyone who has experienced a relationship breaking apart. As I navigate the waters post divorce, I learned that if life was hard leading up to separation it got exponentially harder post separation. Time ran away, there was never enough time in the day, moments with the kids got harder and were shared shopping for groceries or while watching a sports game. Scheduling 1 on 1 time, as a father became tied to a calendar. Spontaneous events turned into planned outings with things to accomplish on the way. Somewhere in all that mayhem I needed time for just me. Silence, contemplation and healing – fitting it in was the challenge. In hindsight, I now know that is what I needed but as I exited my relationship I did the exact opposite. I coached youth soccer, managed youth lacrosse and eventually took classes as an Emergency Medical Technician and volunteered with my town’s rescue department. Balancing that with 4 kids, work, and related activities, time was at a premium and I began to sink not swim.
When I speak to friends and colleagues who experienced separation/divorce a common thread emerged: who do I talk to, what can I read, how do you manage post breakup. Books felt false, the Internet lacked credibility, attorneys wanted your money and I did not know where to turn. This blog is my starting point for putting parts of post separation life thoughts in one centralized area.
I am interested in your feedback and would hope you sign up for our blog as we start the process to create a credible blog for those experiencing this stressful and life changing event.